Totally Fishy by Gale Borger

Author:Gale Borger [Borger, Gale]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Mystery
ISBN: 2940011405358
Publisher: Echelon Press
Published: 2011-07-06T00:00:00+00:00

17

The drive to Sal's took less than five minutes. As we neared the diner, I became aware of loud music and a lot of yelling. Crowds of people gathered at the entrance to Sal's Diner and spilled out onto the sidewalk. Their shouting was indiscernible above the clamor of a boom box blaring music across the street.

We watched as Sal ran out of his diner, still holding two eggs in his left hand and a spatula in his right. He waved the spatula toward the street and we heard him yelling in Spanish. As we pulled into a parking place on the street, Sal scuttled over toward us and switched to English. "What the hell is that crazy Mary Cromwell doing over there by the parking meter? Is she pole dancing? Oh my God. Call J.J. Call the cops! Get that crazy lady away from my place! Oh, no, this is bad for business; she's going to drive away the customers. Help, police! She's cuckoo! She's loco! Help, help!"

He ran over to my window and yelled in my ear. "Buzz, arrest that woman! She's going to cause a riot! People will revolt. People will riot. It will be Clark Kent all over again!" I suppressed a grin.

"That's Kent State, Sal." We slowly climbed out of the SUV and watched the spectacle before our eyes. Even my dogs looked shell-shocked and could only stare. A boom-box sat on the curb near Mary and hip-hop music blasted from its speakers. One scrawny, fish netted leg wrapped around the parking meter she shimmied up and down. It looked like Lawrence Welk meets the Disco Hoochie Grandmama from Hell. Whatever the hell it was, it hurt my teeth.

Trying hard to keep a straight face, I said to Sal, "Yep! You're right about one thing, Sal. That's Mary all right, but what the heck is she doing?" I blinked against the glare. "Oh, my God; what the heck is she wearing?"

"I don't know," Sal said, scratching his head with the spatula, "but it's got to be illegal. You better shoot her quick."

Fred appeared at my side and let out a whistle. "Hoo-wee. That is just wrong. No eighty-year-old woman should be allowed to dress like that. How the hell did she come up with that outfit?" Mary let go with a couple of hip thrusts. "Oh, my God!" Fred choked. "No eighty-year-old woman should be allowed to do that. I agree with Sal, we'd better shoot her quick or get J.J., fast! Didn't he follow us over?"

I felt a little queasy as I gaped like a mouth-breather at the odd scene in front of me. There was my mom's eighty-year-old friend Mary Cromwell in all her glory, ruby red lips smacking kisses at the crowd, pink feather boa flapping in the cool autumn air. She hacked as she spit out the feathers which kept sticking to the red blobby stuff that covered her lips and the acreage around them. She looked like a Botox reject from Hollywood.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.